Wish You Were Here…

You had the loveliest smile of my life. I had never ever seen anyone so beautiful with a smile. And in no time you opened the doors of my heart. 21st March 2011 was the day of my life which never returned back. You flushed the dust of my heart that never had feelings. And the vapors of your breathe were magical. They occupied my heart even after you passed away.

My life from that had been about you and shall be about you forever. From a not-so-cool-dude guy to a not-so-good writer, I miss you even more in this phase of my life. I curse myself for being alive after you. I cry all day and night with a question unanswered “Why did you go?”

From the day of your dismal, I had been trying to search for the star we chose. Remember that star? It had lost its brightness after you. But I did not give up searching for you. I searched for the brightest star in the sky. I smiled, cried, blushed and cursed looking at that star.

Trying to find you in someone, but could never find a glimpse of you. The sweetness in your voice, the love you showed to me, I could never ever get that in my life. You make me wonder tonight that why did you love me so much? You have spoiled me. This world is not mine Ayesha. Its people, friends, family; they aren’t mine. Only you were mine. And I was yours; Period.

I cannot forget the pain you had when you were about to leave me behind, unintentionally.

“Find someone for yourself after me, Wish” you said holding that cellphone which was too heavy for someone who had 12 blood vomits in a day. I tried finding someone in this world where no one is mine. Not my friends, my family. I just miss you today. And I have given up on my life after striving for 3 years. I am incomplete without you; tired of crying before people who don’t deserve my tears.

I tried hard to smile for your sake but I cannot smile anymore. I cannot pretend anymore. This world, its people, they are fake. I would like to see celebrations on the day I pass away.

I wish I could give one life of mine and get you back. I could not find my world after you. People here are mean, foolish; they have their own loved ones. Just like you were my loved one, my only loved one. My words don’t sound the same as they used to sound when you were there. Saddened by the thought but your version of Shakespeare is no more in me.

I tried so hard for your soul and happiness but not anymore. It’s tough but I am seeking solitude forever. I don’t deserve to be happy after you. I don’t need anyone in this world. Alone and happy forever; Forgive me for breaking the promise I made to you. I wish you were here, at the time when no one is even trying to understand me. Not even the people I love the most.

Lots of Love


Photo credit: nicola.albertini / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

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24 thoughts on “Wish You Were Here…”

  1. Hey wish… Y so sad? Ur happiness is simple a pen a peice of paper,words from ur heart… Whn evrythng turns against u it gives u light n hope…. Tht star up above wanta u to b happy… If evrythng has gone soo wrong y not strt over new… Y find her… Find someone not neccesarily like her… U jus need to love her like u loved before

    1. A random reader from across the border. I guess I am right 🙂
      A guy who is being treated as a random person by people who love me, to a guy who took little interest in my life, I would love to know your name 🙂

  2. I feel same for someone… But he is alive n he talks to me yet he has no idea what he is to me…cant tell him it would risk our friendship… Cant stay silent… I am more weird than you… I think 😀

    1. Express yourself. The guy must be lucky enough 🙂 Heard this in Punjabi “Ishq di mere mitraan pehchaan ki. Mit jaave jid apnan di”. It means the mark of true love is when you lose the desire to possess someone 🙂
      Go ahead and tell him 🙂 If you love him, you shall love him forever 🙂
      By the way you haven’t answered me yet 🙂

    1. Who asks you to be perfect 🙂 loving someone doesn’t need perfection 🙂 I am the most imperfect son, friend, brother, writer, human being and a lover but I don’t think twice before loving someone 🙂
      I asked about you crazy lover 🙂

  3. Oky after publically announcing my love i should tell you who i am? Being stupid in love is one thing being an absolute idiot is another… Do me a favor pray that he loves me back and somehow falls in love with me… Please will you?

    1. You don’t have to announce “publicly”. Just go to him, look into his eyes and say it with no fear. If it meant to happen it will happen.
      I am an atheist. I stopped praying to god after her dismal. And I believe that catching your love is in your hands.
      But I will pray for you 🙂

  4. And how do u look in those eyes… I can never… I can see him when he is not looking but when he looking at me i usually end up staring his shirt or his hair… Now dont say its just a crush…

    1. I am not saying it’s crush 🙂
      Let me tell you my story. I am deeply and madly in love with a girl right now. She is my bestest friend. The day I felt the love I confessed in no time. She still my bestest friend. And you know what are my words? I say “I will make you fall in love with me, probably some day. And if I could not make you fall I might not be able to fall in love with anyone again” 🙂

  5. So this post is a story… I got serious about it… 😀
    See you are a guy you can make her fall in love… I am a girl….how can i do that?? I cant give him chocolates and roses :/

    1. Lol! This is real story! It’s just that I am in a situation where no one is by my side. I am just 22 and one of the rising writer and digital media specialist. I am the CEO of a leading digital media firm. Also the youngest featured writer of India. But while building all this I had destroyed my personal life. I am just 22, successful, earning 10 times than what a kid of my age would be earning but peace is missing. I wrote this post because I have cut myself socially because of many issues. No one is by my side; not even the girl I love.
      And yes my first love passed away because of cancer.
      Lol! You don’t need roses and chocolates to win heart. I would never ever do that 🙂

  6. Lets share the money u r earning, i wil b by ur side ;P
    I know i am hopeless but you just dont choose to love a person it just happens… But its better if it happens to both the people or u just stay awake alone discussing your stpry with a total stranger..

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