You had the loveliest smile of my life. I had never ever seen anyone so beautiful with a smile. And in no time you opened the doors of my heart. 21st March 2011 was the day of my life which never returned back. You flushed the dust of my heart that never had feelings. And the vapors of your breathe were magical. They occupied my heart even after you passed away.
My life from that had been about you and shall be about you forever. From a not-so-cool-dude guy to a not-so-good writer, I miss you even more in this phase of my life. I curse myself for being alive after you. I cry all day and night with a question unanswered “Why did you go?”
From the day of your dismal, I had been trying to search for the star we chose. Remember that star? It had lost its brightness after you. But I did not give up searching for you. I searched for the brightest star in the sky. I smiled, cried, blushed and cursed looking at that star.
Trying to find you in someone, but could never find a glimpse of you. The sweetness in your voice, the love you showed to me, I could never ever get that in my life. You make me wonder tonight that why did you love me so much? You have spoiled me. This world is not mine Ayesha. Its people, friends, family; they aren’t mine. Only you were mine. And I was yours; Period.
I cannot forget the pain you had when you were about to leave me behind, unintentionally.
“Find someone for yourself after me, Wish” you said holding that cellphone which was too heavy for someone who had 12 blood vomits in a day. I tried finding someone in this world where no one is mine. Not my friends, my family. I just miss you today. And I have given up on my life after striving for 3 years. I am incomplete without you; tired of crying before people who don’t deserve my tears.
I tried hard to smile for your sake but I cannot smile anymore. I cannot pretend anymore. This world, its people, they are fake. I would like to see celebrations on the day I pass away.
I wish I could give one life of mine and get you back. I could not find my world after you. People here are mean, foolish; they have their own loved ones. Just like you were my loved one, my only loved one. My words don’t sound the same as they used to sound when you were there. Saddened by the thought but your version of Shakespeare is no more in me.
I tried so hard for your soul and happiness but not anymore. It’s tough but I am seeking solitude forever. I don’t deserve to be happy after you. I don’t need anyone in this world. Alone and happy forever; Forgive me for breaking the promise I made to you. I wish you were here, at the time when no one is even trying to understand me. Not even the people I love the most.
Lots of Love